For years I've been troubled by Shakespeare's assertion: "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. . ."1 My own experience is that we are so loathe to “speak ill of the dead” that only the nice parts survive. However, for those who have been HURT by the departed, it will probably be the evil that lingers. We tend to view the departed through polarized lenses. This is most pronounced in the days immediately following a death. Time tends to restore perspective.
Author Rick Bragg demonstrates this restoration of perspective in his memoirs. His 1997 memoir, All Over But the Shoutin', chronicles his father's alcohol abuse and abandoning the family. In The Prince of Frogtown, Bragg revisits his father's earlier life in order to flesh out his portrait.
I discovered Bragg's work through an interview for BookPage magazine. The phrase that earned my respect was: "I didn't try to recreate some daddy for myself in this book."2 Most of us are tempted to do what Bragg resisted. Often we try to whitewash our histories. And while I certainly appreciate the sentiment, such dishonesty actually cripples us. A crutch is a good thing until it becomes a hindrance.
1 Julius Caesar, Act III, Scene 2, lines 80 & 81. After checking the context, I’d say that these comments are probably no more sincere than Anthony’s assertion that “Brutus is an honorable man.”
2 Bain, Rebecca. "Paternal Instincts." BookPage. June 2008. p. 5.
