Less than 360 days until Christmas

So if you want to be ready a little bit early this year. . . Or if you have a birthday or other occasion you want to commemorate, consider these gift ideas:

Give the gift of LISTENING. Really listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.
Give the gift of AFFECTION. Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.
Give the gift of LAUGHTER. Clip cartoons, share articles, funny stories and a good clean joke. Your gift will say, "I love to laugh with you."
Give the gift of a WRITTEN NOTE. It can be a simple "Thanks for the help" or an "I appreciate you" note. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime (and may even change a life).
Give the gift of a COMPLIMENT. Everyone needs encouragement. Mark Twain said, "One compliment can keep me going for a whole month."
Give the gift of [ALLOWING SOMEONE TO DO YOU A FAVOR. Accepting such a blessing will felicitate you both. -- I'm adding this because it may be even more important than the original which suggesting going out of your way to do a favor for someone else-- ulogtwo].
Give the gift of SOLITUDE. There are times when we want nothing more than to have some peace and quiet. Be sensitive to those times, and give the gift of solitude to others.
Give the gift of a CHEERFUL DISPOSITION. The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word. It's not hard to be polite and courteous, to say "hello" or "thank you."

***

This is one of those "wish I'd said that" pieces. I've tried to make my emendations obvious and would be happy to give credit but it came to me as a "someone has written . . ."
This is also a great game plan for anyone seeking to avoid stocking coal in 2010 and beyond.
Happy New Year, reader!

I have no idea where I am going . . .

I came across this prayer by Thomas Merton in My Life with the Saints by James Martin:
"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

Amen!

The most PHENOMENAL site.

There is a time machine on the web. I found out about it only minutes ago.

Please take me back in time!

The archive.org site allows you to search for webpages that have been lost and then "visit" them. It's like being able to travel back in time.

It's important to me because back in 1997 I got permission from Randy Becton to place several of his articles about cancer and grief online. At the time I was using AOL and so the materials were placed there. At some point those articles disappeared. It was some kind of storage/restart issue at AOL. I thought they were lost forever.


But the site listed above had them archived. And here are the links:

You are not alone.

Does anyone understand my grief?

Helping children cope with cancer.

Dealing with depression in illness.

Follow a link and you should see a selection of archived pages. Choose one and you'll be able to read the text of these 4 special booklets. Note that the links on these pages are out of date so don't expect to follow them. And since these pages are over a decade old (what's that in internet years?) the addresses are no longer valid.

If this is just too confusing, email me and we'll see what we can do to lessen the confusion and make it possible for you to read these booklets. Remember these are not my booklets -- not my words. There are probably newer versions available for purchase if you'd like to share them with others. Here's a link to Amazon's selection of materials by Randy Becton.

Feb 1st, 2009

Just checking out my connections on Facebook. Looks like 3/4's of my "friends" are either family or youngsters the age of my children. Matt tells me that there seems to have been an influx of folks my age in the past month or so. I've also been invited to be friends with a fellow who shares my name. So far, I haven't accepted his invitation. Guess I'm worried that it might get confusing.
Never really expected to see 2009. Not that worried about my own health just didn't figure the world would still be turning. But here it is and here we are.

I'll pass on the resolutions, thanks. My exercise minded daughter chose to steer clear of the gym crowds for the month of January. She expects that things will be back to normal by February. And that's pretty much my opinion of resolutions in general. If it's important then it can be started before (or after) January 1st. Call it something other than a resolution and you probably increase the likelihood of success.

And now we have a new president. This one seems to have generated more hope than usual. Hope is good. It is a great start but it won't really accomplish much without some willpower and sacrifice on the part of the American people.

The "Attitude of an Owner"

When we were leaving Corpus Christi and before I had secured a job in Abilene, I asked Bob Allen if he'd provide a letter of reference. Bob and I had worked together on the Northwest Community Advisory Council and the Risk Management Plans for local chemical plants. I asked because Bob had been involved in several nonprofits and I considered the nonprofit sector my most likely path. Bob's letter provided a little phrase that I think captures my approach when he suggested that I would bring "the attitude of an owner" to my new job.

I like that. I'm proud that Bob sees that when he looks at me. That's what I aim for even though I couldn't have told you that until I read Bob's letter. But it's also the approach I see in my hero, Joseph. When finally rescued and elevated to the service of the king, Joseph still bargains so that the king's interests are served.

The biblical term for "having the attitude of an owner" would be "steward" or more precisely, a "good steward." The good steward knows that he functions on behalf of and is responsible to the real owner.

There's a scary tale in Robert Sutton's book The No Asshole Rule.
"The idea that power corrupts people and makes them act as if they are above rules meant "for the little people" is widely accepted. But Gruenfeld shows that it is astounding how rapidly even tiny and trivial power advantages can change how people think and act – and usually for the worse. . . . This silly study scares me because it shows how having just a slight power edge causes regular people to grab the goodies for themselves and act like rude pigs." (p. 73)

FACEBOOK

After receiving an invitation to view CHs' facebook page I had to sign up. I mean, C's no Luddite but how in the world did she get involved with such a Web2 technology before I did?

Turns out that C's evidently invited MANY folks from Arlington Heights and Corpus Christi to visit her online. At this point most of the folks I've "friended" (is that the proper term?) are from our Arlington Heights years – a few are college connections. Eventually I'll probably connect with a high school acquaintance or two. I'm surprised by how many of my "friends" are actually our kids' friends. Perhaps when my wife signs up we'll connect with more folks our age (she's much more people connected than I am).

This younger generation business is awkward. I've already been tempted to post a TMI (too much information) sticker on one kid's page (can you still call them kids after they turn 30?). I mean I avoid MySpace to maintain my ignorance. And I guess one of the reasons I haven't signed up for Facebook before is because of our kids. I don't want to intrude on their space but can't see not asking to be listed as a friend.

But it is fun to see all the up to date pictures of these Arlington Heights' kids and their young families. So I guess I'll take it slowly. I'll quit adding folks under 35 unless they start the "friending." And I'll see what this Web2 technology can teach me about being human in the 21st century.

Aloha, I'm off to my Hawaiian abode.

Want to "win" a house in Hawaii?

Here's the info. There is a $100 entry fee and it sounds as if Hawaiians might have a bit of advantage. For $50, I'll help you increase your chances -- I won't even send in my entry.

Be sure to invite my family for a brief stay after you win.